China Sleep Ray

User Rating:  / 1

Economists Asleep in the StreetsWith the global economy in the toilet, most countries are suffering big time. It seems that there could have been a solution to the bad economy, but steps are being taken to prevent a solution being implemented. It appears the Chinese government has been testing a new sleep ray to knock out anyone who has an idea that could get the economy back on track.

Directed energy zapping rays targeted at economists

For a long time, China's military has been developing directed energy zapping rays. These can direct a beam anywhere around the globe to cause fatigue and tiredness.

Together with their intelligence division, they track down individuals with enough understanding of the bad economy, and market pressures, they direct the beam to cover all known individuals, and especially think tanks or people in positions of power, capable of making changes to the economy.

It is estimated that the sleep ray can target known individuals around the globe at least once every 24 hours. Now it is not clear how accurate the sleep ray is, or the width of the beam. This leads us to believe that there is a large amount of collateral damage, in the form of tired people who know nothing about the bad economy, or how to to fix it.

Thousands of economists asleepHow to Tell if You Are Targeted

Do you spend your life working on economic issues, or think you are getting close to a solution to the mess we are all in? Are you an economic advisor of some kind, that can get their ideas heard by others, or even implemented? Perhaps you are on their list of targets.

Do you often feel like you go to bed at night and wake up the next day feeling even more tired? Does it take at least 2 cups of coffee to get you started in the morning? Do you have trouble concentrating on your work, where it used to be easier?

These symptoms indicate you could be suffering from the effects of the sleep ray.

Other symptoms include not being able to keep your eyes open at concerts or events, or having trouble keeping a thought in your head.

Johnny English on the case of the Sleep RayGovernment Response

Response has been quick from various governments around the world. The UK sent their top operative, Johnny English to sort out the problem. We are still awaiting his report on the issue.

Other governments have not been willing to reveal their plans, as it could affect the ongoing investigation. It is possible that some governments have made side deals with China to avoid being targeted in exchange for holding back their economic research and development.

 Sleep Ray TechnologySleep Ray Technology

The actual technology used is still unclear at this point. Scientists in our underground bunkers in the frozen North believe they have detected Ultra Low Frequency transmissions, emanating from several Wal*Mart stores, which are known Chinese importers. The network of stores across the globe could be used together to cloak the world in a passive wide-band gaussian field that could continuously blanket everyone with feelings of fatigue and inhibiting conscious economic policy-making thoughts.

Is North Korea Involved

Looking at the images from our economic spy satellite, it seems very possible that the North Koreans have a hand to play in this. Portable sleep ray weapons were detected moving South across the border over the last few months. These could be to target South Koreans, who do not yet have a Wal*Mart store.

George W Is Safe From The EconomyWhat Can You Do?

If you are already targeted, there is very little you can do. Even if you claim you are not an economist, nor do you have any useful ideas on how to fix the bad economy, they are hardly likely to take you off the list. I mean, you could be lying just to get off the list, or you could one day have a good idea. They can't take the risk.

If you are not targeted, you need to keep a low profile such as avoid telling people to keep a budget and not buy goods from overseas. Do not publish a newsletter or website about the bad economy. Try moving out of town, take a vow of poverty and become a hermit.

If your name is George W, you are safe, as no one would believe you know anything about the economy.