Bad Economy Hits Penguins Hard

Yet another casualty of the global economic downturn has come to light. Penguins are suffering on multiple fronts.

Penguins live in the southern hemisphere, especially in the Antarctic region, where jobs are already limited. A number of the government research bases, including the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station, have had to cut back on hiring due to the economy, and have put various projects on hold. As a cute fuzzy creature in a tuxedo, it is hard enough to get a job, and now the jobs are getting fewer.

Penguins are flightless birds, which means that they can't just fly to other parts of the world, in order to search for jobs. They can't use cars to get around either as they can't hold the steering wheel. This means many penguins are out of work with no chance of finding a job. Of course in the south pole, there is no unemployment insurance for flightless birds with little or no skills other than catching fish.

Penguins are an endangered species, and getting even more so due to the bad economy. There are between 17 and 20 living species remaining in the world, and not one of them have benefitted from the government bailout or the trickle-down effect.

We have already proven how the bad economy affects the ozone layer, and the rising ocean levels. With the global warming, the ice shelf around Antarctica is melting, causing the habitat for penguins to diminish. It is hard enough to lose your job, but it is a double whammy to lose your home as well. Just like many people have lost their homes due to the housing bubble recently.

Although penguins are equipped with a tuxedo, they have no pockets so they cannot carry debit/credit cards. And being both homeless and jobless, they would be unlikely to qualify for credit cards. This could be a blessing in disguise, since they cannot overextend themselves.

Penguins are very good at swimming underwater, which is a coincidence, since many investment banks are underwater financially and they have caused a lot of problems with trading financial derivatives. Financial pressures on fishing fleets have caused overfishing of the oceans to the point that finding food is harder every day for your average penguin.

Penguins in captivity fare no better in this economy. Many zoos and aquatic parks are suffering from less patronage by corporate sponsors, and are thus cutting back wherever they can. You may soon see the former residents stuffed and for sale in the gift shop.