Paranoia And The Bad Economy

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Be paranoid about the bad economyRecently this very publication was targeted by hackers from India, while at the same time North Korea started shelling South Korea during our reporter's visit to Seoul. Icelandic government is threatening to set off another volcanic eruption, if the EU does not forgive their loans. Coincidence? I think not.

While many sites are often targeted by hackers, intent on defacing the site or somehow injecting malware, this site has been attacked more than others. At one point, our IT group blocked all the IP addresses from China, in fear of the cyber-blowback due to our article on the Chinese economy.

 Economic early warning system

Anyways, the more recent attacks originated in India, from just outside a small chapatti store in the outskirts of Mumbai. If you are reading this, we know who you are, and we have taken steps. Fortunately, we use an early warning system, similar to NORAD and we had our finger on the restore button before too much damage was done. (It is too bad the economy does not have a restore button, where you could recover the damage done by the insurance companies and the investment banks. Now that would really be cool.)

Meanwhile in Europe, the bad economy is making Europe more insular, marked by an oppressive mentality. EU countries are considering introducing strategic economic policies to force member countries to toe the line. As countries like Greece and Italy are tanking, and pulling the whole of Europe into economic oblivion, others are talking about separating from the EU to protect their own economies. The fact that they share a common currency ties them all tightly together, like being tied to  a white water raft as it goes over the falls. Some countries have even discussed switching to an alternate currency, such as the Canadian Tire Dollar, before it is too late.

 UFO Invasion Hits Economy Bad

There is a lot going on with the economy that they don't want you to know. Fortunately, we have teams of scientists our underground bunkers in the frozen North monitoring the state of the economic downturn, and it's effect on the world. We travel the globe to report on how bad the economy is, and then report it here to you. We will not rest to bring you the lowdown, and last week our reporter was in Seoul, barely a stones throw from the site of the attack by North Korea. We believe it was out of fear that Bad Economy might soon report on the economic problems in North Korea, that caused the attack.

Butterflies affect global economyThis is not something you can blame on aliens, or simply ignore as an isolated event. For example, the airlines are seeing something of a recovery, but are guarded to report they are out of the red yet. It could just take another volcanic eruption to bring them down, and then how would we get around? The economy is more fragile than you think. If a butterfly flaps its wings in South America, several investment banks will have to enter bankruptcy protection and seek a government bailout in Europe. And we all know that you can't predict which butterfly is the cause, so it is virtually impossible to stop it. We also know that there are businesses that cannot be allowed to fail, forcing the issue of the government bailout. It is therefore important to stay paranoid, and expect the worse.