- Written by Duncan
This winter will likely be one of the coldest ones in recent history, with extended cold spells, snow, and expanding ice flows. Scientists in our underground bunkers in the frozen North have been monitoring the worsening state of the bad economy and have identified that it is causing global cooling at a dramatic rate. Unless the economy improves dramatically within the next 12 to 24 months, we are likely to enter into a new ice age.
Here at Bad Economy we have been working hard to analyze the vast quantities of data to further identify impacts of our failing economy. We have already proven how the bad economy affects the ozone layer, and the rising ocean levels. We have shown conclusive evidence that the global economic meltdown has seriously affected the orbit of the moon and triggered earthquake activity around the world. This new consequence of the bad economy is even more shocking.
With the thinning of the ozone layer due to the financial meltdown, the Earth is unable to keep warm at night, since heat gets radiated out into space instead of being reflected by the ozone layer. The ozone layer protects us from harmful UV radiation from the Sun by reflecting it out into space. Similarly it helps keep infra-red heat energy by reflecting it back down to the planet surface. So far scientists have been unable to stop the depletion of the ozone layer by the economic slump, and they have no solutions in the short term to correct it. What is gone is not coming back. And when companies buy greenhouse credits to offset their pollution, it does not help.
With all the world-wide flooding and the changes in the ocean levels caused by the government bailouts, the effective cloud cover is reduced, because more water is on the ground vs in the atmosphere than usual. This loss of cloud cover further limits the heat retention. You will be aware that when you have a clear night, when you can see the stars, that there will be a frost in the next morning. This is because the clouds normally help contain the heat gained from the Sun. With less cloud coverage, we are bleeding off heat faster than the interest on the national debt, and we are powerless to stop it.
Our scientists predict that we will have one of the worst winters on record, and if there is no improvement to the economy, we should expect it to continue. In the poorest economic areas of the world, you can expect to see glaciers forming, and continued snowfalls. Already the meteorologists around the world are predicting substantial amounts of snow this winter. In Melbourne, they are having the coldest winter in more than a decade. Arctic gales are hitting Europe right now, causing electricity bills to go through the roof.
Polar Ice Gain
There is an upside to all this. Sales of warm clothing and winter survival gear will go through the roof. Also, we are already seeing evidence that the polar ice caps have reversed their shrinking, and are now growing. This is especially good in the North pole, where polar bears have been hit badly as the ice has been literally melting underneath them. Of course, as the polar regions grow, we could be facing increasing competition for food from polar bears and penguins in the south. If the ice caps extend towards the equator, we should all hide in a cave and hope that the polar bears finish off the penguins and save ourselves the trouble.