- Written by Paul
Amazing prophesy by an unnamed postal worker during services at the Church Of Dim Sum revealed all about the economy. "As long as the economy remains bad, we can kiss world peace goodbye." he said. This was a unique prophesy, and the first for the postal worker, who has asked to remain nameless for fear of retribution from his co-workers who did not get any dim sum. Although it is not uncommon for prophesy to happen, it was a new experience for the surprised postman and his guests. Some believed this was a sign, and renewed their commitment to the faith on the spot.
Unlike some postal workers who inscribe their prophetic messages on the backs of postcards they get to deliver, this prophesy was given both verbally and not while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Expert witnesses from the Prophetic Institute have confirmed that this prophesy has all the markings of a genuine message from a divine source.
"As the economic downturn continues," said the postman, "many young men around the world will be drafted into neo-nazi paramilitary organizations, initially to build new roads and power plants as part of some kind of government economic stimulus project. But like in Germany in the past, although it solves one or two problems, in the long run it will be a bad thing."
He also explained that the State of Palestine and Israel will continue to fight each other as long as the US dollar remains low. Much of the wealth in that part of the world is kept in US currencies, and so a shift in the value of the dollar represents a downturn in consumer buying power. For example, the consumer index fell 2.5 points from April,to -17.5, wiping out the tentative recovery from last year. And so, consumers cut back on spending and many more people extend their military service (or jihad) to avoid hunting for a civilian job, which as you know jobs are hard to find right now. With the bloated militaries, you get more fighting. Perhaps it is because the generals need to come up with something for the troops to do, or it might be like the saying "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." By having a large military force, then every problem seems to be screaming for a military solution.
In North Korea, the harvesting of Kimchi trees has been hit hard by the bad economy. The decline in orders for grade A kimchi around the world has put thousands of North Koreans out of work as kimchi growers layoff workers and put others on 4 day work weeks. Naturally these displaced workers end up moving into new careers in the military or into nuclear arms manufacturing, in order to put food on their tables. It stands to reason that this is not good news to South Koreans, who also depend upon a harvest of Kimchi trees as part of their economy. It is a little known fact that eating kimchi relaxes and calms the nerves. With both sides eating less kimchi, it makes for two irritable neighbors.
As the last cup of tea was poured, the postman predicted that once the economic downturn ends, a new found prosperity will lead people away from violence into a new orgy of consumerism and spending. For example, in war torn Gaza, if you just bought a new flatscreen TV, would you want to go risk your life fighting a jihad, or would you like to watch Jay Leno? Soldiers in Iran will be trading in guns for iPods and Nintendo Wii.
This new era of consumerism will feed upon itself, and the economy will expand to new proportions, bolstered by a relaxation on consumer credit laws. The demand for products and services will grow, leading to jobs for everyone, and an all-time low unemployment rate. China will not be able to keep up with the demand for products, so manufacturing plants will open up all over the world, closer to the consumers of the products they make. This will have a side effect that fuel costs in transporting the goods to market will be less.
Governments will be able to pay off their deficit and balance the budget. Stocks will go up through the roof, and many will be able to retire and live on the income from their stock portfolios. It is at that time, that wise people will want to build a spaceship to ultimately get off the planet before the aliens arrive.