All Those Government Conspiracies Are True In A Bad Economy

Another fallout of the economic downturn, brought to you by our scientists in our underground bunkers in the frozen North. Zombies have been decimated by the current economic climate. It seems that these reanimated corpses are dependent on a good economy for their very existence. Zombie sightings are way down, all due to the unemployment and lack of funds to pay for burial expenses.

Scientists in our underground bunkers in the frozen North have been monitoring the state of the economic downturn, and it's effect on the world. Some of these impacts can be directly seen, but others, such as changes in the infection rate of various diseases are difficult to identify without access to a high-speed super computer to sift through the huge amounts of economic and other data.

Amazing prophesy by an unnamed postal worker during services at the Church Of Dim Sum revealed all about the economy. "As long as the economy remains bad, we can kiss world peace goodbye." he said. This was a unique prophesy, and the first for the postal worker, who has asked to remain nameless for fear of retribution from his co-workers who did not get any dim sum. Although it is not uncommon for prophesy to happen, it was a new experience for the surprised postman and his guests. Some believed this was a sign, and renewed their commitment to the faith on the spot.

Financial markets are reeling over the collapse of most of western Europe, which is pushing the global economy further down the toilet. First Greece, then Italy, Spain and Portugal. By the time the dust settles, be prepared to see China to go under, which will flush the remains of the economy past the U bend and past the point of no return.

15 April 2010 will go down in history as the day Iceland, (the country not the frozen food store), successfully dealt with the creditors who were about to foreclose on this tiny country and evict everyone from that land. In our underground bunkers in the frozen North, our scientists have been risking their lives to bring you this story...

The International Monetary Fund moved a step closer to a bailout of Greece in this bad economy, announcing that a team will travel to the country next week to begin negotiating the terms of a possible aid package. Other "eurozone" countries have promised about €30 billion in emergency loans if Greece needs them -- provided that the Greeks agree to IMF assistance. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.

RIO DE JANEIRO — Flooding and mudslides from the heaviest deluge ever recorded in Rio killed at least 100 people and left many more homeless, and all a result of the bad economy. Over 2,000 people were forced from their homes by flooding and ground Brazils' second-biggest city to a halt the previous day.

Just days away from the Vancouver 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games, and no one is in town. In this bad economy, people either can't afford or are not interested in attending the event. You can even get tickets to some events from scalpers, priced at below the origial selling price, which is unheard of. This is just more evidence that the recession is getting worse, and not better as some might report.

As the economy continues to free fall, there is a rise in the number of earthquakes around the world. In the Pacific region, also known as the ring of fire, many people are worried over the increased activity, and the potential for a devastating tsunami that could wipe out coastal regions in places like Indonesia. Meanwhile, scientists are baffled at the near perfect statistical correlation between the global economy and tectonic activity.

Heat waves, droughts, killer storms and more. All caused by the bad economy, and getting worse. In our underground bunkers in the frozen North, our climatologists and economists are tracking the coming global crisis. Extreme weather events are happening at an alarming rate, and are a direct result of the economic collapse. Worse news is that nobody seems to know how to fix the problem.