All Those Government Conspiracies Are True In A Bad Economy

A whole new twist to the world's oldest excuse, which started in 1893 by a third-grader named Winslow Greenbay. Winslow was the first student to utter the excuse, and was promptly caned mercilessly in front of his fellow classmates. The excuse is now evolved, and students are blaming the economy for not completing their assignments.

One thing I have noticed is how the economy is hitting our local radio stations. I am sure it is doing the same to other media, such as TV and newspapers alike. All of these businesses are driven by advertising revenue, and when that fall off it causes management to panic.

In California today, the episcopal religious fanatic reverend Penn Yan claimed that the bad economy was a punishment sent to us from the Almighty for falling into a level of sin and depravity involving credit cards. He said that God had told him earlier that mankind was making a serious mistake, but at that time none would listen to him.

We are in the eye of an economic hurricane. Battered by over a hundred million dollars per hour winds, the economy has catastrophically failed in what is the largest man-made disaster in history. Although it seems the worst is over, there is more to come.

Scientists in our underground bunkers in the frozen North have been monitoring the state of the ozone layer and the rapidly melting polar ice caps. When you combine it with our data on the economic collapse, you see a startling connection.

With the economy as bad as it is, many people are out of work, and those who are still employed are keeping money in reserve for when they lose their jobs. How can you sell cars, when few people have the disposable income available to buy? With the size of the overall pie shrinking, how can you get more of the pie for yourself by stealing from your competitors?

This bad economy is a great time for small business owners. You can get away with atrocities of a magnitude and frequency not seen since the second world war, and blame it on the economy. Government is doing exactly this, and pulling the wool over the people, so don't forget to do your part.

The U.S. Government has warned that the 20 year old network of satellites that make up the Global Positioning System (GPS) could fail by 2010 - sending millions of people around the globe back to the stone age. For many, the results could be deadly.

This may seem hard to believe at first. Since the economic crash last year, the orbit of the moon has begun to decay slightly. In just over eight months, the effects are significant enought to be noticed, if you know what you are looking for.

A secret society with tentacles that reach into all forms of government and commerce is responsible for the state of our world economy. Before you read further, I must warn you, if they find out  you have read this article you may be in mortal danger.

Downsizing is nature's way of thining out the smart people from the herd, so that only the scared, dim-witted remain to do the work. Employers want workers who can do the work, but who are not smart enough to know they could get a better deal elsewhere. Research has shown that smart workers can be a disruptive influence in the workplace, asking for raises and asking too many questions about health and safety issues.

The tourism and travel industry is hurting in this bad economy. Many people have been laid off, and no longer have a regular income to invest in a vacation. It is even worse for those people who still have jobs.

The economic crisis, combined with volatile fuel prices have impacted traffic significantly. This has had numerous knock-on effects.

He says he's not trying to destroy your faith in a free market economy. He's not trying to bash the Bailouts. And, though his mother no longer talks to him about economics, Uhmman says some of his best friends are in the financial sector.

Most cults worth their pamphlets have some kind of doomsday teachings, which focus on an impending apocalyptic event such as the end of the world. With the economy in worse shape than ever, it is a good time for these cults to go public and say "I told you so, neener neener..."