All Those Government Conspiracies Are True In A Bad Economy

Until we get unemployment under control, the bad economy is here to stay. Without jobs, there is no consumer spending. Even those remaining folks with jobs are holding onto what they have in anticipation of further layoffs. The flow of money stagnates.

Ever since governments around the world decided the financial industry was too critical to let fail, major banks have gained an lifeline to keep them afloat. When the economy recovers, it is likely this infusion of money will dry up, and they can't afford to let that happen.

Just as we are getting some positive reports of the recession easing off, plans for economic recovery may be scuttled as governments scramble to prepare for the coming global pandemic. Equally disturbing are the reports that a strain of the virus known as H1N1-B, has mutated and crossed over to poultry.

Spooky encounters across the globe are increasing, including things that go "Boo!" in the night and general feelings of uneasiness. Many victims are blaming the state of the bad economy for the rise in hauntings.

Almost a year after the dramatic plunge into a bad economy and it is still falling. Job losses continue to be the theme-de-jour. But how bad is it? Can anyone tell you what the real picture is like, can anyone predict when it will end? If you have lost your job, we want to hear from you!

Heat waves, droughts, killer storms and more. All caused by the bad economy, and getting worse. In our underground bunkers in the frozen North, our climatologists and economists are tracking the coming global crisis. Extreme weather events are happening at an alarming rate, and are a direct result of the economic collapse. Worse news is that nobody seems to know how to fix the problem.

One place that caught me by surprise was my local sushi restaurant. They are struggling due to the bad economy, and trying hard to find enough customers to survive the recession. Many of their customers are out of work and have no money for sushi, while scientists and politicians work to study the impact of the bad economy on the restaurant industry as a whole.

When times are bad it's an employer's market, so this new tactic on the part of employers (or driven by market pressures) comes as no surprise. It is a good way to weed out all but the truly motivated candidates and saves money at the same time.

Using cryogenic technology, people can now sleep through the bad times until the economy has rebounded. This new form of suspended animation allows investors to wait out the depression and subsequent rebound. This is not for everyone, and does not come cheap.

When Edward Lorenz an American mathematician and meteorologist, and a pioneer of chaos theory was due to give a talk in 1972 at the 139th meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science he failed to give the title of his talk on chaos theory, Philip Merilees concocted Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas as a title.

In our attempt to find all the implications of the bad economy, we came upon the plight of the pet goldfish. Of course governments take care of the automobile industry and the insurance and banking sectors, but noone has thought to reach out to goldfish.

In order to reduce the deficit in government spending, the United States is seeking to tax visitors as they enter and exit. The tax is similar to airport improvement fees, charged in various airports around the world.

Driven by the effects of the bad economy and increasing costs of fishing insurance and overfishing in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, hoardes of ravenous raptorial predators with a taste for flesh are showing up around our coastlines and attacking humans.

According to the principle of nonduality, there is no good economy without a bad economy, no positive without a negative, no silver lining without a cloud. It is like two sides of the same coin, that is assuming you still have a coin left after the market crash.

A whole new twist to the world's oldest excuse, which started in 1893 by a third-grader named Winslow Greenbay. Winslow was the first student to utter the excuse, and was promptly caned mercilessly in front of his fellow classmates. The excuse is now evolved, and students are blaming the economy for not completing their assignments.