All Those Government Conspiracies Are True In A Bad Economy

In several provinces across Canada, consumers are getting the provincial tax incentive on wide screen TVs bought after January 1st, as part of a push to get consumers over to the new technology.

The time that many people fear is soon approaching. Due to the bad economy last year, many people have not been able to put away enough money to pay their taxes this year, and so there is a scramble to find enough money in time.

More and more employers and managers are jumping on the economy bandwagon. If you do something crazy, you can blame it on the current economic crisis and it is like a magic 'get out of jail free' card. This is too good an opportunity to miss out on, so get with the program folks.

Santa condemned as he outsources work to India.

Tonight’s shocking news is that Santa Claus today has laid off his entire elf workforce and moved the entire operation involved in the construction of presents and the administration of letters to Santa to Bangalore in India.

As the economy continues to sink deeper, scientists have been working on a new approach to solving the global economic crisis. The plan is to go back in time and stop the economic collapse before it ever happens. If they can find a point where changing a few events can stop the economic meltdown, then the bad economy would simply not have happened.

Despite protests, the government is moving to contain the swine flu pandemic by fencing off the entire state of Iowa. National guard are stationed at all roads in or out of the state, and all flights are grounded. Amtrak passenger trains are ordered not to stop as they cross the state, and Greyhound buses have to detour via Minnesota to avoid the quarantine area.

The H1N1 swine flu pandemic is growing worse at an alarming rate, helped in part by the bad economy. The numbers of hospitalizations for H1N1 and also H1N1 related deaths are increasing from one week to the next, and are soon to exceed the levels reached in June when the first wave of the pandemic was at it's peak.

With the continuing depression comes the revival of a video format long thought to be ahead of its time. Well it just could be that the time is now right for the emergence of what the press are calling "Betamax Reloaded". This new/old technology could very well revolutionize the way we record and play movies in the near future, and it is all due to market pressure from the global economic crisis.

The other day I came across a neat idea, that of micro-financing. The cool thing is that it provides for those too poor to borrow through regular channels, such as banks and lending institutions. When the economy is as bad as it is, there are a lot more people who do not qualify for conventional financing, since the banks have tightened up their criteria.

Outsourcing is all the rage these days, and for some it may seem like a no brainer. You pay someone in India or China a fraction of what it would cost you to do the work here in North America. You keep more of the profits for your company, right? If times are tough, you need a new way to generate more cash flow, and you can't seem to depend on customers actually buying your products or services any more.

Claiming economic reasons, the government has backed out of treaty negotiations with the Bigfoot, Yeti and Sasquatch tribes that live throughout North America. These negotiations were hoped to resolve centuries old claims over territories claimed by these large hairy creatures.

The H1N1 vaccine has been harder to produce than expected. Even now, after several delays, only limited quantities are being made available. This means not everyone who wants or needs the vaccine will be able to get it. Governments and health authorities have come up with a priority list to decide who lives and who might die. No surprise that economic factors are used to determine those priorities.

As the economy continues to free fall, there is a rise in the number of earthquakes around the world. In the Pacific region, also known as the ring of fire, many people are worried over the increased activity, and the potential for a devastating tsunami that could wipe out coastal regions in places like Indonesia. Meanwhile, scientists are baffled at the near perfect statistical correlation between the global economy and tectonic activity.

Merrill Lynch, which got bought out by Bank of America,  gave it's executives $3.6 billion in bonuses, despite suffering unprecedented losses. Government is impotent to do anything but hand out public money in bailout packages, which ends up as bonuses for their executives.

Until we get unemployment under control, the bad economy is here to stay. Without jobs, there is no consumer spending. Even those remaining folks with jobs are holding onto what they have in anticipation of further layoffs. The flow of money stagnates.