Solar Activity and the Bad Economy

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Solar Activity And The EconomySpace scientists have revealed that the Sun, which should be showing signs of solar activity as it is due to be at its solar maximum in its eleven year cycle has gone very quiet.

"I've been a solar physicist for 30 years, and I've never seen anything quite like this," says Richard Harrison, head of space physics at the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory in Oxfordshire.

Apparently there should be sun spots and flares all going on right now, but according to another space scientist, "It's completely taken me and many other solar scientists by surprise," says Dr Lucie Green, from University College London's Mullard Space Science Laboratory. "There is a very strong hint that the Sun is acting in the same way now as it did in the run-up to the Maunder Minimum." She has added.

Thames Frost Fair

For reference the Maunder Minimum occurred in the latter half of the 17th Century when the climate got so cold in northern Europe, they held frost fairs on the River Thames in England. It is postulated this is because of reduced UV light causing issues with the jet streams in the upper atmosphere.

This reduction in solar activity will also lead to the absence of the Northern Lights and the collapse of a number of tourism related companies that take people up to the Arctic Circle to look at them.

Sun Affected by Economy

It seems highly suspicious that this fall off in solar activity has coincided with the economy going belly up, and our scientists in the even more frozen north are also monitoring the issue of our quieting star with grave concern. To some it seems incredulous that a star over 93 million miles away can be affected by falls in stocks and shares and the way the economy across our globe has be sliding to oblivion.

There has been one theory put forward as to why the Bad economy has been affecting the sun at the heart of our solar system. Our experts are citing an unholy alliance between furriers and purveyors of domestic heating oil and sellers of hot chocolate.

Fur CoatOne of the main sectors to take a real hit when the economy went down, was the fur trade and domestic heating. It seems that nobody here in the west felt they could justify paying the prices charged for fur coats, and a good may people have turned down their heating, hoping for global warming and putting on jumpers from charity shops. Why the sellers of hot chocolate have got involved was initially seen as a mystery, since many people are still purchasing those drinks at coffee shops which seemed resilient to the bad economy.

One of the consequences of reduced solar activity will be as happened in the Maunder Minimum, colder winters. This would therefore mean a greater demand for fur coats and domestic heating oil, thus building up those sectors of the economy. It is posited that as more people stay in on cold winter and summer nights, perhaps the sales of hot chocolate may also climb, probably why the sellers of hot chocolate have joined this cartel with the furriers and the purveyors of domestic heating oil.

Scientists in our underground bunkers in the frozen North believe they have detected Ultra Low Frequency transmissions, emanating from various parts of the globe and aimed at the Sun. These emanations never come from the same place twice, indicating that the perpetrators are trying to evade the authorities.

Hot Chocolate Heating Industry

This is a dangerous time, as who knows what could be the long term effect on the Sun will be. Maybe by making our sun so quiet it could end up shutting down for good or worse. All we can say is that it seems that the Bad Economy has driven this insidious cartel to take such desperate measures to revitalize their various industries that they are willing risk our solar system by potentially shutting down our Sun.

Cyber Mole

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