Earthquakes in a Bad Economy

As the economy continues to free fall, there is a rise in the number of earthquakes around the world. In the Pacific region, also known as the ring of fire, many people are worried over the increased activity, and the potential for a devastating tsunami that could wipe out coastal regions in places like Indonesia. Meanwhile, scientists are baffled at the near perfect statistical correlation between the global economy and tectonic activity.

The last major Indonesia tsunami made massive headlines at the end of 2004, when a 9.15 earthquake started the Asian tsunami that killed over 200,000 across the Indian Ocean. Scientists now connect see that as an aftershock of the global 'dot com' collapse that preceeded it. Fears of another major Indonesia tsunami due to the current bad economy were in the air today, after a 7.6 earthquake hit the country today, 33 miles from Padang.

The Samoan islands were very unlucky yesterday, as they were first struggling with a poor economy and then struck by an 8.0 earthquake, followed by a tsunami that has already killed 84 people, with the numbers likely to rise in the days ahead.

A series of earthquakes — the largest a magnitude-5.1 — have rattled the Lone Pine area of the eastern Sierra in Central California. This area has long been suffering from the bad economy.

In our underground bunkers in the frozen North, our scientists have been studying the correlation between the economy and seismic activity. One of the theories is that the decay in the Moon's orbit is causing gravitational stresses that are literally pulling at the Earth. Where there are weak spots, this results in fissures opening up and venting magma, preferrably on greedy bank executives who deserve what they get. In fact the idea of the ground opening up and swallowing certain AIG executives is rather appealing.

The up side is that the economy can be used to predict earthquakes. Our scientists are trying to pinpoint the next stress areas that could be hit, by analyzing the credit card debts of people in those areas. The statistical significance is startling! As consumer debt goes up it is time to leave town. If you are on the East coast, in the wealthier neighborhoods, you find little seismic activity, but as you move into the inner cities, you can expect trembles. Just don't allow people with lots of credit card debt to move into the area and you will be safe.

If you get a letter in the mail from Capital One or any other credit card company, offering you low interest rates, do not open the letter! Either burn or shred the letter without opening it. If you merely place it in the trash, others could steal it and use identity theft to open a card in your name. If that happens, you will have nowhere you can run to and be safe.