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Bad Economy Stressful On Goldfish PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Duncan   

In our attempt to find all the implications of the bad economy, we came upon the plight of the pet goldfish. Of course governments take care of the automobile industry and the insurance and banking sectors, but noone has thought to reach out to goldfish.

 

Your common pet goldfish is quite affected by stress due to the economy. In May 2009, 44 percent of families’ financial situations have worsened in the last six months.
Our researchers discovered that to make ends meet, many have cut back on extras, such as those fancy carbon filters used to keep the aquarium water clean and free of harmful bacteria. Some families have switched from the best brands of fish food to cheaper alternatives, that may give the goldfish gas. You can tell if this is the case by the tiny bubbles in the water, and a strange smell just above the water level.

Goldfish are sensitive to the people around them. They like smiling happy people looking into their aquarium. When they look out and see people worrying over bills, pink slips and foreclosure notices they pick up on the stress level. When families are too focused on money, the poor goldfish get neglected, and they can tell. If you are in this situation, be sure to clean the aquarium regularly and change the water as per the directions. They will thank you for it.

Most goldfish know that if you have to move into a rental place, that you will probably have to get rid of the goldfish. Terrifying stories abound about goldfish being sent to a swirling watery grave. So they are often looking out to try and recognize if you have a foreclosure notice in the mail.

 Lose Your Job

The effects of the bad economy have even further impacts. For example, as of May 2009, Canadian pet store chain Petcetera is filing for creditor protection and liquidating its inventory to generate cash flow. This is just the start. As more pet stores go out of business, it will be harder to pamper your goldfish, and the costs of ownership go up as you travel further to find supplies. Again this puts more stress on your goldfish to justify the extra costs and effort in keeping them. They may try to do some tricks to keep your interest, but this is just a sign of desperation.

All this stress could make a goldfish get sick, and they may need the services of a veternarian that specializes in fish. Again, as most fish do not come with their own health insurance, this is an additional cost. This could add a sizeable portion of guilt on top of the stress the poor goldfish already has, which could push them over the edge. Of course, this is when a good pet therapist would be really useful.



 
Comments (3)
You could use them to detect the economic health
1 Friday, 21 August 2009 09:56
Use goldfish to predict how the economy is doing.
We can connect a bunch of them to EKG machines to measure their stress level and use that to plan our investments.
Goldfish
2 Saturday, 28 May 2011 02:25
Can't tell if trolling...

A pet therapist for a goldfish?

Most of the stuff in pet shops is way overpriced - people are willing to pay it for their 'babies'. Having said that, goldfish are not a cheap or easy fish to keep.
That is so horrible!
3 Saturday, 05 November 2011 11:43
JacobWolf
I never knew that...all my life I've been afraid of having fish..afraid of changing the water...afraid cleaning the aquarium..but I never knew fish would go to such a level that they would try to impress the owner just so they won't throw them out..
Oh god, that is so sad, I feel like crying..
I love you mr.goldfish. RIP!!
)';

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