Bad Economy Ate My Homework

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Ate My HomeworkA whole new twist to the world's oldest excuse, which started in 1893 by a third-grader named Winslow Greenbay. Winslow was the first student to utter the excuse, and was promptly caned mercilessly in front of his fellow classmates. The excuse is now evolved, and students are blaming the economy for not completing their assignments.

 

For example, in WV, a student claimed that her completed homework was at home, but that their home was repossessed by the bailiffs and now she was locked out. A student in AZ claimed that the power was cut to their home, causing their computer to corrupt the file he had just finished working on.

One student in NY claimed they were too distraught over the suicide of their father, who worked in an investment bank. Teachers were suspicious when the student used the same excuse a few weeks later, figuring the father could not have died twice.

So far the education system has failed to keep up with the new trends in economically at-risk students. Few teachers have accepted the claims that the completed work was in their parent's car, which is now located in a repo yard.  Perhaps what we need is understanding of these economic times, and the impact is has on the lives of children. Combined with that teachers have to hone their BS detecting skills.

If a child is begging extra time to complete an assignment because of a family death, perhaps a copy of the police report or a death certificate could be required, like they do in inner city schools. Where a property was confiscated, again their should be some paperwork to substantiate the claim.

School bullies are now taking protection rackets to a new level too. Some enterprising young thugs are selling insurance that other thugs will not steal your homework. They then group together and re-package these policies into derivative funds that they sell as assets to even bigger thugs, who then sell them to other bullies in exchange for lunch money they have stolen. The problem starts when several policy holding students come to school with an excuse, and try to make a claim. Before you know it, the whole school bullying economy is in chaos.