GPS Suffers From Bad Economy

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The U.S. Government has warned that the 20 year old network of satellites that make up the Global Positioning System (GPS) could fail by 2010 - sending millions of people around the globe back to the stone age. For many, the results could be deadly.


Replacement satellites are long overdue, but have been delayed due to the bad economy, as budgets get slashed and needed funds are diverted to government bailouts of companies such as AIG and GM.

This means that the GPS system that we all depend on will slowly degrade in performance and accuracy, until eventually it will fail altogether. When this happens, disaster will happen on a global scale.

In the military, soldiers, planes and equipment could get sent into the wrong locations, resulting in more casualties and rendering the military useless. Military hospitals will be overloaded with casualties, so you should invest in medical supplies companies stocks in preparation.

Commercial shipping may end up crashing onto rocks or running aground as their GPS system provides inaccurate data. We expect to see oil tankers crashing on our shores, even worse than the Exxon Valdez. If you are a ship's captain, now is a good time to learn how to use a sextant and paper charts again. If you own beach front property, you should build a wall of rock on the beach, about 500 yards wide and 200 yards high, to protect you from large commercial ships crashing into your living room.

Systems such as lojack, used to track stolen cars will be a crap shoot at best. For car thieves it will be a bonanza, with little or no chance of being caught. After failing to catch car thieves, local law enforcement will no longer have any confidence in the system, and will not attempt to catch reported stolen vehicles. If you want to protect your vehicle we suggest you install some kind of hidden kill switch, so that the car cannot be driven away. It does not depend on GPS to recover the vehicle.

Stocks of manufacturers of GPS systems, such as garmin will be hit hard, and may have to layoff further workers, or go to the federal government for a bailout. You might see new products that run off the Russian GLONASS satellite system, but you have to be able to enter coordinates in Russian. You can prepare for this by attending Russian language clasees at night school.

Local authorities will no longer be able to track known sex offenders, who wear GPS based tracking devices. Once news of this gets out we can expect a rise in crimes and a general panic in society, as vigilantes patrol around schools to protect their children from the sex offenders who are roaming free. If you are seen walking near a school and you look at all suspicious, you might get your head blown off by the same vigilantes.

GPS based robot lawn mowers will run amok and mow down people as they struggle to find where the lawn edges are. These killer mow-bots will keep going until they run out of power or until you shoot them with a shotgun. If you need help, just run past a school, and you may find a shotgun wielding vigilante who can help you out. Just stay clear of the school kids or you may get shot yourself.