Bad Economy Downsizes Eggs

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Stressed ChickenLatest news, in farms all around the world, the bad economy has impacted the size of chicken eggs. Although the eggs remain just as nutritious and healthy, they appear significantly reduced in size. To make a similar sized omlette, you just need more eggs.

Apparently the common laying chicken is sensitive to the moods and feelings of humans around them. So when the stock market crashes and the farmers and workers lose more than 60% of their retirement funds overnight, the chickens can sense this. As more chickens pick up on the despair and stress of the humans, it spreads throughout the entire chicken population.

Then what happens is a constriction in the lower parts of the chicken anatomy where the eggs come out. This results in the smaller size of eggs, in proportion to the degree of stress in the people around them. Unfortunately, the economy is not likely to recover any time soon, so we can expect small eggs for the foreseeable future.

Because of the impact that is rippling through the industry, the egg marketing board are considering changes to the grading and sizing of eggs to allow for the 'downsizing' of eggs. They are scrambling to come up with new marketing campaigns emphasizing that smaller is just as good.

If the downsizing continues, we could see eggs the size of grapes or even smaller. This means that eggcup and egg slicer manufacturers will have to come out with new sizes of their products to keep up with the changes. And of course egg timers with fixed times are no longer of any use.

Cooking recipes that use eggs will have to be adjusted. On the egg marketing board website there is a conversion table that helps you map from the old sizes to the new ones.

Cracking these smaller eggs takes some more finesse, so expect to need some practice before you get comfortable. A sharp knife works well. And tweezers can help in getting out any small amounts of shell residue.

An upside in this has been in the dieting and weightloss industry, which describes the new 'diet' eggs as portion controlled nutritional gems. If you use the smaller eggs and reduce the other ingredients proportionally, you can make smaller meals that are healthy and will help you lose weight as part of a complete weight loss program.

A side effect of the discovery that chickens are affected by moods and stress has led to the use of chickens in interrogations. You just have to stick your finger up the rear end of a chicken and you can tell when someone you are questioning is stressed or lying to you.