Banking on a Slow Recovery

Ever since governments around the world decided the financial industry was too critical to let fail, major banks have gained an lifeline to keep them afloat. When the economy recovers, it is likely this infusion of money will dry up, and they can't afford to let that happen.

Perhaps the biggest conspiracies yet, our banking industry has a vested interest in prolonging the bad economy for as long as possible, in order to keep the money coming in. While businesses go under and people are losing their jobs and their homes, banks are actively seeking ways to maintain the status quo.

"This is a gravy train, and we can't afford to get off." said one bank CEO recently as he was boarding his luxury corporate jet for a weekend in the Bahamas. His comments match the sentiments of many of the executives in the banking and insurance industries.

Recently, there have been signs that perhaps the tanking economy is bottoming out, and may be set to improve soon. This bodes an ill wind for the financial sector. In a desperate bid, they have been dumping stocks of companies that show signs of recovery, in order to lower their value. "When you see major corporate investors pulling out of a stock, it makes no difference if that company is doing well. You have to get out or you will go down the tubes with it." said an investor.

The sheer volume of money transactions comes with great power, which is in the hands of the financial sector. By manipulating currency markets, banks can influence the exchange rates for almost any currency. They have been using their off-shore branches and subsidiaries to to purchase or sell currencies so as to hide their intentions. Buying or selling large amounts of government bonds can affect the ratings of governments of countries that show signs of economic growth. In our underground bunkers in the frozen North, our scientists have been studying the billions of transactions, looking for patterns and trying to track down who is doing what.

Much of the bailout money received by banks for use in issuing loans and mortgages for consumers has not made it into the hands of those consumers (the so-called trickle down economics). One reason is that banks want to keep the money for their own needs, and another reason is that the banks do not want to cause too rapid an improvement in the economy. By throttling the flow of money, they hope to slow the influx of investing and new jobs that could spell the end of the recession.

The financial industry is still largely self-governed, and in the absence of any legislation to govern their actions, they continue to keep a firm grip on the reins of economic progress. Governments are unable to stop the financial sector, any more than individuals and small businesses. It was shown last year when you let major financial institutions dry up, they take down many others with them and destroy even more. It would be more productive to put a paper bag on your head and wait for the world to end.