Sleep Through The Bad Economy

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Cryogenic CapsulesUsing cryogenic technology, people can now sleep through the bad times until the economy has rebounded. This new form of suspended animation allows investors to wait out the depression and subsequent rebound. This is not for everyone, and does not come cheap.

 Freezing Unit

Cryogenic hibernation was originally being developed for use by NASA astronauts in long space flights, such as to the outer reaches of our solar system and beyond. It involves the slowing of life processes by external means without termination. Breathing, heartbeat, and other involuntary functions may still occur, but they can only be detected by artificial means.

Now that cryobiologists say the technology is stable enough, a new use for it has emerged. Since last year, the economy has dropped off the charts, and is expected to remain low for a long time. Waiting for the economy to rebound is similar to a long deep space flight.

Sleeping InvestorsIn order to protect your body while in suspended animation, a spin-off company has been formed, and each investor has to contribute enough funds to ensure that it will be in business long enough until the economy recovers. Each investor will have their own cryogenic pod, with multiple redundant backup power supplies to ensure safety. A team of cryobiologists will be on rotating shifts to monitor the health of the investors. Also the facility will be in an undesclosed underground location, with plenty of security safeguards to keep out enemies who might not want the investors to wake up.

Crygenic DataEach investor pod will have its own parameters when to wake up the investor contained within. These can be set to the price of various stocks, or a combination of market indexes. Other parameters could include various disasters, death of family members and impending meteor impacts.

This form of avoiding the bad economy is not for everyone. In fact, only a few investors will be able to afford it. The cost per investor is not disclosed, but is expected to be in the hundreds of millions, and it will be strictly on an invite-only basis. Those investors who are eligable will be contacted directly shortly.