Corporate

Corporate StoogesWelcome to the Corporate section of Bad Economy. Here are articles on business and corporate topics. If you have anything to add, please jump in any time and add a comment at the end of each article.

Economy Impacts Cheez Whiz

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Cheese Whiz In Short Supply Due To Bad EconomyDue to the increasing number of layoffs in this bad economy, more people than ever before are unemployed and sitting at home eating Cheez Whiz, hoping that the economy will bounce back and they can go back to work. As a result the global demand for the product is up over 3000%, leading to shortages in some areas.

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Bad Economy And Dropped Calls

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Can't get a signal on your cell phoneCellular network carriers across North America are feeling the pinch in this economic downturn. They are implementing cost cutting measures that actually cause more dropped calls for customers. The changes are so subtle, that it is hard for customers to detect, yet they save the networks millions of dollars.

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Mad People Upset Over Economy

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Mad about the bad economyCrazies and mad people are really upset about the economic downturn, and are no longer willing to stand by and let it go to hell without a comment. Insane assylums and mental hospitals are now a seething mass of resentment for the politicians and unethical businesses that have flushed our financial system down the toilet.

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Fairy Godmother Laid Off

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 Fairy Godmother Fired(And the Tooth Fairy too)

The latest shocking news story concerning the current state of the bad economy we have uncovered has been the wholesale redundancies of fairy Godmothers and tooth fairies.
With the lack of money around, coupled with the rise in dental caries caused by people skimping on dental care as either companies chop that part from their employee benefit packages or people are laid off, there was no way that the tooth fairies could continue to operate.

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Canadian Tire Money May Collapse Soon

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Canadian Tire MoneyBillionaire coupon collector Bradley Thomas Jr has predicted that the Canadian Tire Dollar could completely collapse within weeks, sending shockwaves throughout the global economy and heralding the beginning of a downturn that would make the recent economic crisis look tame in comparison.

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Layoffs Uncover Meaningless Work

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Many unemployed workers found that they are making no less of a difference than they did when they were working. This shocking revelation leads to the conclusion that their previous jobs did not matter. It was like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, their work was more busy work than something significant.

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Blame It On The Economy

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How to blame it on the economyMore and more employers and managers are jumping on the economy bandwagon. If you do something crazy, you can blame it on the current economic crisis and it is like a magic 'get out of jail free' card. This is too good an opportunity to miss out on, so get with the program folks.

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Shock Redundancies at the North Pole

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Evil SantaSanta condemned as he outsources work to India.

Tonight’s shocking news is that Santa Claus today has laid off his entire elf workforce and moved the entire operation involved in the construction of presents and the administration of letters to Santa to Bangalore in India.

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Bad Economy Sparks Return Of Betamax

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Betamax ComebackWith the continuing depression comes the revival of a video format long thought to be ahead of its time. Well it just could be that the time is now right for the emergence of what the press are calling "Betamax Reloaded". This new/old technology could very well revolutionize the way we record and play movies in the near future, and it is all due to market pressure from the global economic crisis.

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Outsourcing Is Bad For the Economy

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Outsourcing is all the rage these days, and for some it may seem like a no brainer. You pay someone in India or China a fraction of what it would cost you to do the work here in North America. You keep more of the profits for your company, right? If times are tough, you need a new way to generate more cash flow, and you can't seem to depend on customers actually buying your products or services any more.

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Rich Get Richer

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Bonuses

Merrill Lynch, which got bought out by Bank of America,  gave it's executives $3.6 billion in bonuses, despite suffering unprecedented losses. Government is impotent to do anything but hand out public money in bailout packages, which ends up as bonuses for their executives.

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