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This earthquake was triggered by the poor economy in Chile, and has impacted the rotation of the Earth on it's axis.

The quake, the seventh strongest earthquake in recorded history, hit Chile Saturday and should have shortened the length of an Earth day by 1.26 milliseconds, according to research scientist Richard Gross at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif.

If you live in an impoverished third world country, you need to get out of there fast. Find a wealthy country, and make sure you stay there.

Ninjas can cut off heads with their swords and not even think twice about it. If these guys go crazy there is no stopping them.

I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. Perhaps he used to be a postal worker, or maybe he was in disguise as one. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. Maybe he was fed up with delivering mail to a bunch of spoon dropping whiners, or maybe he did not have enough money left for a tip. I don't know, and I don't want to go to that town to find out.

As soon as I saw him, I knew I had to get out of there. I burst through the front doors and ran all the way home, never stopping to look behind.

I now live in fear. Everyday since then it haunts me. Whenever I make a deposit, I am scared of ninjas killing me. I may have to move to another city.

Pioneer officially took the wraps off its new line of plasma HDTVs recently. It’s impressive technology. Having seen pre-finalized versions at the Consumer Electronics Show, it’s complete with electrodes that plug directly into your frontal cortex of your brain. This provides excellent picture quality and allows our alien masters to take control of all unwanted thoughts.

About 200 protesters dressed all in black smashing the windows of a department store, the Hudson's Bay Company Olympic Store, kicking and vandalizing cars parked along the street and causing havoc. They were upset about the lack of parking and the requirement to sing 'O Canada' as they were herded by police with batons, bullet-proof vests and some machine guns and tasers (probably for any Polish protesters).

I tried to train them to walk on hot coals, is that abusive?

What about Contrarians who do the opposite of standard trading practice. They will practice reading your Green Lights as Stop Lights and your Red as Go lights. As their activity becomes automatic, accidents at Wall and Bay Streets will begin to pile up. Now, you're in trouble for recommending a simple, but very dangerous, automated color response method.
"Baaad Economy!!!"

An American reporter had been prevented from entering Canada. The Olympic Resistance Network says 20-year-old Martin Macias Jr. had arrived at YVR from Chicago Saturday morning, but was held by Canada Border Services for several hours.

He was then put on a flight back to the U.S. The Network's Chris Shaw can only speculate what triggered the Border personnel's actions. "I suspect the authorities in the states had shared information with authorities here. He was known somehow with someone who held dissenting views on the Olympics and that was enough to get him barred from our country."

Macias is a leading member of 'No Games Chicago', a group which had opposed Chicago's bid for the 2016 games. He hosts a community radio station in Chicago.

Speculation is that his efforts in Vancouver would hurt the bad economy and would lead to the winter games running a financial loss. It is good that he was sent back as we cannot afford that!

The mascots for the Vancouver’s 2010 Winter Olympics are supposed to represent the history and culture of the Vancouver area, but for the most part just confuse everyone. There are three mascots and a special mascot sidekick for the Games this year; Quatchi, Sumi, Miga and Mukmuk.

Quatchi is the big, furry and ominous Sasquatch. He grew up in the Canadian forest, but has left his home to scare tourists.

Quatchi especially loves little children. Perhaps too much. We should not leave him alone with any.

Sumi is another mysterious animal. Some people say he tastes like chicken. I am not sure I want to get that close to find out. Perhaps you could get rabies from him.

Sumi loves to Alpine Ski and underwater hangliding. He can hold his breath a long time, but that is because Quatchi refuses to bathe.

The third mascot is Miga. A young sea bear Miga is part killer whale and part Kermode bear. She is too young to understand why Quatchi is so friendly.

Miga is always having fun. She likes to open all the lids on the yoghurt containers.

If we divide 6 billion by the population of Vancouver, we get $10,000 per person. If we include all Canadians, it goes down to about $200.

I don't care about the Olympics as long as we don't have to pay for it.

I don't mean to say I told you so, but the title alone shows the connection between debt and earthquakes.

Let's pray for them.

No case is doomed to failure. However, you also need to do something to save yourself from doom. You have to take the necessary moves to preclude tax penalties and debts from quickly piling up and strangle your finances.

You need to call in some favors with uncle Tony to put some heat on the auditor to look elsewhere while you move your money to the Caymans.

It was written by a seemingly angry, frustrated person: lots of typos and weird grammar which is typical of frustration speech. Illogical. Not up to your usual high standards. Usually you write great shaggy dogs. This one -- not!

Proposition; Supposition; Conclusion and Wrap were missing.

People are going to have to realize that "some areas are not going to be good enough to live in in the next 100 years."

NORTH POLE (Reuters) -- Holiday magnate Santa Claus announced today that his conglomerate Kringle Holdings, LLC, will layoff up to 1,300 of the elves employed at their main workshop located here.

This cutback, which is over 8% of the workforce, was called "Unfortunate, but necessary" by Santa in an unusually somber press conference. "There are too many forces at work here for us to ignore them. With neither the capital nor the demand, we simply do not have the means nor the reason to keep our staffing at traditional levels".

Kringle Holdings has been battered recently by a heavy investment in formerly high-flying tech stocks like Amazon (Nasdaq:AMZN) and WorldCom (Nasdaq:WCOM) as well as the energy conglomerate Enron (NYSE: ENE). The Kringle Endowment has been rumored to have lost as much as 65% of its value this year alone. This, combined with what researchers have called "A major uptick in the number of bratty kids" has left Santa´s once awesome toy factory something of a relic of days gone by.

"It used to be that every kid got a toy; but now, with the recession and all the whining out there, the size of the Bad List has grown exponentially" was how an anonymous elf at Kringle put it.

There is more at stake than just Kringle Holdings, however, as the North Pole is very much a one-company "mill town". Over 10,000 elves work at Santa´s factory and are represented by the United Elves of the North Pole (UENP). The loss of even more jobs at the North Pole would seriously put the local economy in the red for the first time in its 224 year history since it was founded by Santa Clause. The possibility of a further collapse in their employment outlook makes the bleak arctic landscape appear even more desolate.

When asked if unemployment benefits will be extended for workers beyond the current two year time limit, Goran Stephonssen, Presidident of the United Elves of the North Pole Local 1225, responded that "He may be Santa Claus, but the contracts that we have negotiated with Kringle Holdings the last two decades are not of the standard we had back in the 1930s when all the kids around the world demanded toys made from our factory". He added, "Globalization and weaker international trade laws have allowed other toy factories to cut into our market share thus weakening our bargaining power with Santa. It is very frustrating for the working families of the North Pole."

Nobody has ever built a time machine that could take a person back to an earlier time. Nobody should be seriously trying to build one, either, because a good argument exists for why the machine can never be built. The argument goes like this. Suppose you did have a time machine right now, and you could step into it and travel back to some earlier time. Your actions in that time might then prevent your grandparents from ever having invested in their retirement funds. This would make you poor or from a poor family, and thus not afford to step into the time machine. So, the claim that there could be a time machine is self-contradictory.

I can't reach my cousin in Iowa City. Did they cut the lines or something? Perhaps they are rounding people up and taking them to the camps?

One person had flu-like symptoms where I work about a week ago. They took him out back, and he has not been seen again since. I think they killed him, rather than risk becoming infected. What can I do?

I won't use credit cards ever since I felt the first tremors. I tell my friends to stop borrowing, but they don't listen to me. I am scared.

I had to pretend to be an at-risk person to qualify for it. Now my arm is all swollen up. I don't think the quality assurance is very good. This was a bad batch.

wattttttttttttttt.

You are right about the abundance of brown fecal matter. We are deep in it too, so far up the creek and without a paddle. It is only a matter of time now, before the aliens come down and take over this planet. We do not have the financial resources to defend ourselves, so you might as well put meat tenderizer on yourself and hope they eat you first.

If you have these you only have a few days left to live:
* fever
* coughing
* headaches (such as when watching Lenno)
* muscle or joint pain
* sore throat when swallowing turtles whole
* chills while standing in a freezer
* fatigue
* dry or itchy skin around the genitals
* runny nose
* diarrhea and vomiting (after eating Mexican food)

Did you know?

Bank of America has received over $50 Billion in government funding. With it they purchased companies like Meryl Lynch and Countrywide. Both times they offered their the top executives at both companies unprecedented amounts of money in "exit bonuses". One guy alone received over $386 MILLION dollars. No one said a word.

Did you know that they received this money from our government? TARP, the troubled asset relief program was created to help stimulate the economy by offering big businesses in our country money. No one is saying a word.

Did you know that there is absolutely NO mandate on what these businesses do with their TARP money?

Did you know that Bank of America is now scrutinizing people’s checking accounts to see where they’re spending they’re money…and if they don’t agree with you, they’ll shut your account down? Unilateral decision to shut down access to your finances and you can’t do anything about it.

Did you also know that bank of America is attempting to foreclose on the homes of our soldiers stationed in Iraq? I’m not an attorney but have heard that this is a violation of the Soldiers and Sailors act. And I also know that again, NO ONE is doing anything about it.

I have a client named Sammy. Sammy’s wife died and he inherited his 2 grandchildren. He called bank of America to see if there’s anything they could do for him and they told him to prepare the kids for homelessness because it wasn’t their fault or problem.

I have another client that was rationing out food to her children daily so they could get caught up on their mortgage because the collections department at Bank of America called them and said if she fell behind, they’d all be homeless.

We wouldn’t otherwise say that any of these people or any of you had an argument for wanting them to fix the terms of your mortgage except now that bank of America has received BILIONS dollars to stimulate our economy and are still refusing to help us.

Mr. Obama do you know what WE could have done with this bail out money? You could have given it directly to US by lowering the principals of our homes to the fair market value, guaranteed everyone an interest rate of less than 5% of their mortgage and a guaranteed 30 year conventional loan and you would have spent LESS.

These banks have proven they can’t be trusted with our money.

They have proven that they will do NOTHING in the best interest of the consumers and will only make decisions that HELP put money into their own pockets.

We looked to you for change. Change means nothing if it doesn’t help.

Now we’re asking you for a little accountability and a little equality in the rationing out of government assistance.

Why are there only government bailout programs that force borrowers to go delinquent. Do you know how much it would stimulate the economy and put money into the pockets of lenders if they had programs to help people stay current. AND NOT mandate that they fall behind?

Lets apply commonsense.

Let’s apply change that works! I’m not a democrat or a republican. I’m not a black, white, Asian or Hispanic. I’m not Christian or Muslim. I’m an American, asking my president to help us.

I own the consumer advocacy group. We are applying for our nonprofit status in Nevada. I’m doing my part to help as many homeowners as possible. What are you actually doing for main street that doesn’t directly affect Washington or wall street?

We’re done asking. We’re done waiting. I am planning a homeowners protest and am asking all homeowners to stand with me and say enough is enough.

President Obama. Will you stand with us? 702-478-5369 Call me and let me know

I mean who has the most to gain from continuing this bad economy? Of course it is the banks and the insurance industry. It just makes sense. But since they are more powerful than even the government, we are not likely to stop them.